One Night, Nine Rooms, Ten People
by Faye My Funny Valentine
Summary: *sigh* I'm re-upping this on my new name...bear with me, there's gonna be a lot...


  
Okay, I was lying in bed last night thinking about random crap and all of a sudden, this story popped into my head. Don't blame me if it's... far fetched. Heh, enjoyyyyy! =~_^=  
  
"1 Night, 9 Rooms, 10 People"  
by Shinigami Baby  
  
  
~Wufei~  
  
How unjust! I am so disgusted right now I can't even bear to look at these people. My lack of sleep is going to effect my performance, I just know it... Forgive me Nataku, but I just can't get back to sleep... So I'll just yell at these moronic pilot friends of mine and these... WOMEN. I shake my head. How can these people have such a wide range of reactions to the same exact thing? I wonder...  
  
Hmph. Maxwell all sprawled out on the floor like it's some kind of bed. And those ridiculous yellow smiley face boxers. How weak do you have to be to wear those? And I swear, he looks like a WOMAN with his hair down like that. I suppose he only takes his hair out of that braid when he goes to bed. The most annoying thing about him right now is that he's grinning like the village idiot. SOME one doesn't mind being awake...  
  
Barton looks absolutely terrified. I wonder what happened to HIM. Oh well, I'll find out soon enough. And Winner... breathing into a paper bag. I look over these people in this room one more time: Yuy on the couch with Peacecraft and Miss Bloom. Rasid, sitting Indian-style on the floor. Hilde is sitting on the coffee table, Indian-style as well. Then there's Barton and Winner on the loveseat. How appropriate... Miss Catalonia is the only one standing besides myself. She doesn't seem very pleased.  
  
"So what exactly happened?" I ask no one in paticular. I'm bombarded at all sides with simultaneous answers. I'm getting nowhere fast. "ONE AT A TIME!" I shout. The entire room quiets down instantly. Heh, they realize I am strong. Weaklings. "Who would like to explain, from their point of view, what happened first?" Everyone shouts at me again. I'm getting quite pissed now. I start to rub my temples. Any second now I'm going to shout 'KISAMA' and start tearing into the closest person near me. Lucky me, its Maxwell.  
  
"QUIET!" The normally quiet and passive Barton shouts. The noise stops not even a second later. Maybe he isn't so weak after all. "Here, everyone take a piece of paper and we'll write our names on them. Whoever's name Wufei draws gets to explain what happened first."  
  
I can't say I'm not impressed. This must be why he's the brains of this outfit. Everyone complies and does as Barton says. The papers are put in Maxwell's cap, which was until recently resting atop the television. Yuy hands me the cap and I draw a piece of paper and read the name aloud. "Sexy Mofo Duo Maxwell" it read. The idiot grins at me and stands up. I can feel my headache coming on already as I sit down beside Miss Bloom...  
  
  
~Duo~  
  
"Sexy Mofo Duo Maxwell" Wu-man says. Heh I wrote that, that means I get to go first. I stand up and grin as Wu-man sits down near Catherine. I fold my arms and begin to explain what happened to me earlier tonight...  
  
"I was probably one of the last to go to bed tonight. Last person I remember talkin' to was probably Heero. He was complainin' that he couldn't see ZERO from his room or something like that and mentioned talkin' to Rasid about switchin' rooms. I just shrugged it off and continued to play Dream Match '99 on the old Dreamcast. After kicking serious ass I decided to sack out. That was at... 12 maybe?  
  
All I can remember before falling asleep was hearing Trowa and Catherine come in from work. Then I fell asleep. I'm not too sure how much time passed before I heard Quatre in the room across the hall diagnol from mine. He was screamin' his head off. Then I woke up."  
  
I shrug, scratchin' the back of my head. It's a habit of mine. Heh, girls say it's cute, so why stop, right? Everyone's lookin' at me, so I just sit down on the floor. Hell, I'm done, why stand here in my shorts?  
  
"Take a name, Duo." Wu-man says to me.  
  
"K." I agree. I grab a paper from my hat and unfold it. "Trowa Barton. Heh, that's you, Tro-man!"...  
  
  
~Trowa~  
  
Duo grabs the paper now. I can only wonder who's going to be picked next. I'd rather it not be me... He's unfolding it. "Trowa Barton. Heh, that's you, Tro-man!" He says to me. I hate it when he calls me that. I clear my throat and recall the night's events...  
  
"It was about half past 11 when Catherine and I left the circus tent and drove home. It was an easy night, so I was in a pretty good mood. When we pulled up to the house, I'd say it was about... maybe 12:15? Right, Catherine?"  
  
My sister nods at me. I nod back and continue...  
  
"I was anxoius to see Quatre, we had been at the circus all day, my sister and I, so I missed him terribly." I pull Quatre closer and ruffle his hair a bit. He smiles at me. "Catherine said she was stopping in the kitchen to get something to eat before going to bed, so I went up to Quatre's room. The door was locked, oddly enough. Quatre always left it unlocked so I could come right in and lay with him.  
  
Once I found my key to the room, I stepped in quietly and got out of my clown clothes and into my boxers. Being in the good mood that I was in, I hopped into the bed and started to cuddle Quatre, rolling around with him in my arms, trying to wake him up. I thought something was off when I rubbed his butt and it was a lot bonier than usual.  
  
'Are you losing weight, Little One?' I asked him. He only stirred and rolled onto his stomach. Thinking he was playing hard to get, I got on his back and started to kiss the back of his neck and nibble a bit on his ear."   
  
Ugh, now everyone knows my bedroom behavior... My face feels awfully hot. Am I blushing? Oh well, back to my story...  
  
"Before I knew it, Quatre had turned onto his back now and possesed... things he didn't have before. I reached over for the lamp and who was I in bed with, but Hilde. Hilde screamed, as did I and then, well, you guys know what happened after that."  
  
Dear God, I'm so embarrassed. It looks as if everyone is taking a moment to soak this in. How uncomfortable. I still can't get over Hilde being in Quatre's room. What was THAT all about? Guess I'll find out when either of them explain... I think that thought has registered in everyone's mind now. I reach over and grab a paper from that cap on the table and unfold it. "Dorothy Catalonia." I read from the paper.  
  
  
~Dorothy~  
  
Hmph. Looking at Winner only pisses me off. I turn my attention elsewhere. Oh Miss Relena...  
  
"Dorothy Catalonia." I hear my name and turn to face Trowa.  
  
"What?" I ask.  
  
"It's your turn, duuuuh!" Duo says. Sometimes I could just kick his face off...  
  
"My turn you say? Okay, here's what happened: I was asleep in my bed when I am suddenly awakened as someone climbs into bed with me. I sat up and turned the lamp on. Quatre is in bed with me so I scream and hit him with a shoe. There. That is what happened, go to someone else..."  
  
"Pick a name, woman." Wufei says to me. I swear, if Miss Relena wasn't here, I wouldn't be such a lady...  
  
I reach over to the cap and pull out a paper folded in half. I read the name outloud. "Rasid."  
  
  
~Rasid~  
  
It would seem that it is my turn to explain my side of this... awful story. The scary girl with the freaky eyebrows has just called my name. I take a deep breath and recall earlier events from this evening.  
  
"I went to bed shortly after my final round of Battleship with Miss Hilde. This was at about 11:30. Upon going to my room, Heero approached me about changing rooms so he could keep an eye on his Gundam. Being the gentleman I was and making the guest more comfortable, I agreed to switch my room with Heero's. Shortly after arriving in Mr. Yuy's room, I was shocked to find someone coming into my room.   
  
Whoever it was had gotten into bed with me... and well, it was Miss Peacecraft."  
  
Did she just shudder? Hell, I'm not THAT hideous if Catherine... uhhh... nevermind.  
  
"The end." I say, finishing my story. Knowing the drill, I reach over and grab a paper from the hat. Unfolded, it read the name "Quatre."  
  
  
~Quatre~  
  
Looks like it's my turn. Ohhh this is embarrassing. I can already feel myself turning red. I clear my throat.  
  
"It was about 10 o'clock when I was in the kitchen and Duo surprised me with an intresting paper bag. Inside it was a flask of... whiskey I think. He and I sat at the kitchen table and took shots. Hilde came in and joined us. The three of us were feeling pretty good, then Hilde said something about Battleship and left. I don't really remember what time that was at. Soon Duo left me too, and I was in the kitchen alone with what remained of the whiskey."  
  
Oh man, Rasid looks pissed...  
  
"Once it was empty, I staggered up to my room. Duo was playing some video game I think. When I got upstairs, Hilde was infront of my door, asking me to switch rooms. She wasn't tired, really, and she wanted to watch TV. Besides the living room, the only other room with a TV is mine and Trowa's room. I had no plans to watch TV, I just wanted to sleep, so I let her take my room."  
  
"So how did you end up in MY room!?" The scary girl asked. Man, what's with those eyebrows?  
  
"I'm getting there, be patient, little missy." I say quite sternly. She looks more like she's about to laugh than she does to be quiet. Oh well. Back to my story...  
  
"On my way to Hilde's room, which is across from mine, Relena ran past me and knocked me over. I must have been turned around or something when she helped me up because I wound up in *Dorothy's* room."  
  
I'm not looking in her direction, but I swear, I can almost HEAR her glare at me.  
  
"That's when she whacked me with a shoe..." I say. Trowa rubs the spot on my head that Dorothy whacked me. "The end..." I reach over and take a paper from the hat.   
  
"Hilde, it's your turn." I say before tucking my legs under myself and lean against Trowa.  
  
  
~Hilde~  
  
Damn crazy people. Is everyone addicted to sex or what? Geez, and all I wanted was to watch TV.  
  
"Hilde, it's your turn." Quatre says.  
  
I tuck my legs out from under me and rub the top of Duo's head with my foot. "Okay, so here's what happened: after me and Q over there" I point to Quatre "switched rooms, I ran into his room and locked the door. Oh geez it's the coolest bedroom I've ever seen. Big-ass stereo, nice TV, a sweet DVD player, and of course the satellite for the TV. I was far too awake to be even thinkin' about sleep so I started watchin' some old movie.   
  
It must've been hella boring cuz the next thing I knew I was turning the TV off and rolling over in the HUGE bed and falling asleep. I'm not too sure how long I was asleep until I was awakened by someone trying to do it with me." I shoot Trowa my best impression of Heero's 'Death Glare(tm)'. "I mean damn Trowa, I would never think of you as the frisky type." Heh, he's blushing.  
  
"Please don't remind me, Hilde." Trowa says, he's looking at the hand he copped a feel at me with. He seems quite disturbed. Maybe I shouldn't tease him about it anymore. Heh.  
  
"So anyway, T over there turns on the lamp and sees me and he starts screaming like I'm the Anti-Christ or something."  
  
"Close enough, you're a WOMAN." Wufei says to me. Heh, what crawled up his ass and died? You'd figure Trowa and Quatre would be the woman haters, not Wufei.  
  
"And that's my story." I finish, shooting Wufei an extra dirty look. I take the paper out of the hat and read the name. "Heero Yuy."  
  
  
~Heero~  
  
I don't want to be here any longer than I have to. Might as well get this over with.  
  
"Okay, I might as well say this now: I didn't switch rooms with Rasid to be able to watch ZERO. I did it to hide from Relena." Oh shit... here it comes...  
  
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerooooooooo, whyyyyyyy?" Relena says to me. God, I can't stand that voice.  
  
"Just because." I say. "As I'm getting into bed, I hear someone coming up the stairs. I'm thinking it was Trowa. Anyway, soon after that, I heard someone else come up the stairs. The door to my room, being unlocked, opened slowly and someone climbed into bed with me. I freaked out thinking it was Relena and grabbed whoever it was. When I turned the light on, it was Catherine.  
  
She asked me where Rasid was."  
  
The looks on Trowa and Quatre's faces are absolutely priceless right now. Rasid just found a fun spot on the floor to stare at and Catherine is an intresting shade of red.  
  
"I'm done." I state simply and draw a name from the hat. "Catherine..."  
  
  
~Catherine~  
  
Oh my God, I don't know who I'm gonna hear it from worse, my brother or his boyfriend... well, secret's out now. I try my best to control my blushing as I explain what happened...  
  
"After Trowa went up to bed, horny like a dog in heat..." Heh, I'm really gonna get it now. Trowa is not looking very happy with me and Quatre is about to pass out from the embarrassment. "...I went into the kitchen to grab somethng quick to eat. When I was done with my salad, I decided to pay Rasid a little visit... *like I always do*..." Trowa's eye twitches. "...*every night*..." Quatre's eye twitches now. "...FOR SEX!" Quatre and Trowa have passed out. Rasid's nose is spattering a little bit of blood. Heehee, he's so cute when he does that.  
  
"When I climbed into the bed, someone grabbed me and instantly turned on the lights. It was Heero. The end."  
  
  
~Relena~  
  
"Okay, I'm last. Here's what happened: I wanted to treat Heero to some fun tonight. He'd said no a few times earlier tonight, but you know Heero, always playing hard to get... So, once everyone was in bed, I snuck into Heero's room and tried to wake him up. I was surprised to see Rasid in there instead so I screamed."  
  
  
~Wufei~  
  
I look outside, it's still dark, this is a good thing. The clock reads 2:00 AM... I need sleeeep...  
  
  
Duo looked over at Wufei, who had just passed out. "Guess that means it's bedtime, eh?" He gets up and goes into his room, yawning.  
  
Heero nods. "Yeah. Sleep is something we all need right about now." He follows Duo up the stairs and goes into his own room. Relena is two steps behind Heero. Hilde and Dorothy go up to bed next, then retreat to their respective rooms.  
  
Catherine looks over at Rasid and winks. He picks her up and runs into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Trowa and Quatre are passed out on the loveseat.  
  
  
~END~  
  
  
Heh, like I said, this story is hella crappy. If anything it was fun to write. And remember the moral kids: if you're in a house full of horny people and you decide to switch rooms... put up a sign on the door or something! 


End file.
